Buddy 'Two Jags' Johnston

***Disclaimer****
I am too tired to proof read this blog entry, so please accept all typos with affection. Much love x

I've not updated the blog for 6 days. I don't know you've coped, I really don't. But you'll no doubt be breathing a sigh of relief that this update is here. Easy soldier, it's going to be alright now.

Here's a gratuitous puppy shot if you need a fix

So the good news is that Buddy has had his second injections - everybody give a whoop whoop! He's still not really allowed out anywhere that other dogs might have done the dirty, so he's still confined to the garden but the end is in sight. Yay. Did Buddy take his inoculations like a big dog? More like a big blouse if I'm honest. The vet advised me to wait for quite some time before taking to have him micro-chipped as that's a even bigger needle. Well, I think that's what she said. I just about collapsed in a heap on the floor at the sight if the smaller needle, so methinks Scott will need to take him to be chipped when the time comes.

What else has been happening? Well, we went to puppy club again on Sunday and Buddy got on a lot better this time, partly because he's got over his sickness in the car- and yes, I think that deserves another round of applause. He's still slevering like a loon, but he's stopped chucking up in my six month old car and for Buddy, I am truly grateful.

We were happy to see our pal Twiglet at puppy club again, she and our boy interacted with each other very well.Twiglet looked less than impressed when Buddy stepped over her but apart from that, they got on great guns. Buddy's bag of purchases from Wizard Of Paws this week included two rawhides - the good quality ones, none of your cheap rubbish for the pup - and a fabby carpet shampoo that takes all traces of doggy do and puppy pee out of the carpet. I'm told it's also very effective on red wine, thanks to Gill Buchanan for that top tip. although, to be fair, wine is very rarely spilled in this house as it's never in the glass long enough. Hic.

Accidents on the carpet have definitely lessened and we're starting to become more in tune with Buddy's bladder. What has my life come to when I'm in tune with the peeing rhythms of a dog? Do I need to get more? Possibly.

And so came the snow. Mountains of the bloody stuff. So much so that I took the children out of school at lunchtime for fear of not being able to get the car out of the drive if I waited until hometime. On his early morning poop and pee expedition, Buddy got to grips with snow. Once he stopped being scared of it. After his puppy-fright wore off, he became more curious than a cat with a death wish. And then cometh the kanagroo-type leaping which is highly amusing and probably quite aerobic too. For the dog I mean. Not me. I wasn't leaping in the garden. It's bad enough that my neighbours witness me in my pink flannel pyjamas, Emu boots and coat standing in the garden without adding leaping to the mix. *Shudders* That would be a stage too far. If they were able to get past the vision of loveliness that was me in the garden, then my neighbours would have treated to the sight of Buddy's own interpretation of a Winter Olympics gymnastic programme.


So, we're now 16 days into our life with Buddy. How is it? Honestly? Bloody hard work. Seriously exhausting. They say that a puppy is as much work as a newborn. Uh-uh my friend, I disagree wholeheartedly. It's more work. With a newborn, you are encouraged to 'sleep when they sleep', people are falling over themselves to help you and no-one minds if you look like a bag of spanners - in fact they expect you to look like a bag of spanners. No such luck with a puppy. Oh no. And you are sleep deprived becasue of the night time crying. you pick up a lot of poo and clean up many litres of wee. You've got too feed them little and often although one saving grace is that you don't need to get your baps out to feed a dog - I'll give you that one. But everything else? Sheesh, it's no walk in the park. But I do believe that in the near future, it will be a walk in the park. Quite literally. And although I'm looking forward to taking Bud out into the big wide world, there's a part of me that will miss just having him as the little, housebound pup. He's getting bigger all the time and although we don't necessarily notice as we see him all the time, I can't help but be surprised when I look at him and realise how much his legs have stretched and how he can easily get up the stairs and jump on the sofa (both of which we're trying to discourage).

I shall try and not leave it so long before I post again - I'm sure you find the days long and arduous without my observations on That Buddy Puppy...

Buddy's Nemesis...

Hands up - who thought Buddy's enemy within the house would be our nearly 8 year old cat Rocky? While it's fair to say they'll never be bosom buddies, they have reached a certain level of tolerance with each other now.

I know that I may not be Dr Dolittle (although that's what my friend Gayle's dad has nicknamed me, on account of us now having 5 pets in total - well, five pets at the time of typing, one of the fish could go at any minute) but I'm pretty sure I could translate the body language of Buddy and Rocky' first meeting into a dialogue. It went a bit like this:

Buddy: Wow! Another furry thing with four legs - brilliant! Let's play Furry Dude!


Rocky: You fool. I have no time for your fluffy stupidity and endearing enthusiasm. Leave me in peace Fluffball and stay out of my line of vision

Buddy: Ach no, you don't mean that! We've got so much in common - look, you've got a big long chase toy attached to you, just like me! It's brilliant fun to chase, although it smarts a bit when you chew it.

Rocky. That's your tail you imbecile. Away with you and do not cross not my path again

And then all hell broke loose, the cat arched his back and hissed at Buddy. Buddy shuddered and pissed the floor. Ever since then, they've just circled each other but they've now found a way of co-existing.

So if the cat isn't Buddy's arch-enemy, then who is? Is it the postman? Nope, he's safe (so far). The thing that winds Buddy up more than anything else is a piggy bank. In fact, it's any piggy bank. If you want to see my puppy having a histrionic, rattle a piggy bank and put it on the floor in front the Bud-ster. He goes ballistic. And just so you don't have to take my word for it, here's a clip of Mad Dog in action...

Time for a 'Buddle' Bath

Due to being generally honking from the farm and being covered in his own sick, Buddy resembled a dodgy under-ager drinking cider at the Cenotaph on a Friday night when we first got him, so we bathed him as soon as we got him home. Eight days have passed since then and due to the Philadelphia cheese stuck on his ear (don't ask) we decided it time for a buddle bath for the pup. Let's just say it was not his favourite experience in the world. The Barlotte and The Boy were desperate to see him having his bath and were quite stunned to see how rat-like he is when his mighty fluff has been soaked. Once the 'fun' of bathtime was over, we brought him down for his blow dry. Again, there were other things in the world that Budweiser would rather be doing (you know, things like eating sausages, absconding from the garden through a hole in the fence and licking the plates in the dishwasher) but after his shampoo and set, he looked just dandio once again. He's still not come out of the corner though...


Buddy Boy Bingo gets a bath and loses all dignity and then suffers the humiliation of getting a blow dry. And no, I didn't ask him where he was going on holiday or if he was going out tonight...

I love my puppy because...

The best thing about having a puppy isn't the companionship. It's not the fun and games. It's not the sense of achievement when they learn something. It's not even just being able to stroke silky smooth ears while they sleep. No, none of that. The absolute best thing about having a puppy is having someone else to blame bottom burps on. Amen to that.

Going to Puppy Club - Buddy style

We've had an 'interesting' few days with old Budders and a few sleepless nights. He's definitely found his feet - or paws- in the house now and a real cheeky side of him is becoming more apparent every day.

So this morning we all piled into the car and off we went to puppy club at Wizard of Paws. Buddy did very well in the car and wasn't sick - he did slever more than an lifelong member of Weightwatchers in a chip shop. Apparently his slevering is a sign of his anxiety - I wish he would find another way to express it....

Buddy made up 25% of the class. He was joined by Zoe (a Springer Spaniel) Twiglet, a tiny Border Terrier pup with a whole heap of attitude and Lexie a stunning grey Great Dane puppy who epitomised the term 'gentle giant'. I'd love to tell you that buddy was the star pupil. But I can't. He didn't respond to treats in fact he couldn't have been less interested in them. And as we using treats to help the pups learn their names, Buddy's apparent lack of regard for venison tongue and sausage pieces made our tasks all the harder. Alastair of Wizard of Paws explained that his sullen mood and sad face were probably due to his dislike of being in the car and as predicted by Alastair (or The Dog Whisperer as he should be known) Bud did gain confidence and become more lively as the class progressed. He still didn't do as he was asked though. I think we'll let him off just this once.

The class was great, really informative and eye-opening. Turns out that you use a lot of the same techniques when training a puppy as you do when bringing up children. And our kids have turned out okay so far. With the exception of The Boy....

We've come home with an 'indoor kennel' to help with our training - that's a big cage to you and me. It's been a godsend so far for the times when he's started his daft mouthing and nipping - we just pop him in the cage (he's been placed in as we speak) until he calms down. It's a bit like the naughty step, only without the negative connotations.

What else can I tell you? Well, he's grown in the 6 days we've had him and he's getting really heavy to carry now. The Barlotte spent ages playing football with him today and he finally got the hang of it. So if Scotland should ever make to a World Cup or European Championships final again, we could give Buddy a really sever haircut, give a strip and two pairs of football strips and send him out on the pitch...

We've only just begun....

We've got a new addition to our family - a 9 week old Bearded Collie puppy who goes by the name of Buddy. We've wanted a family dog for a long time and now that the children are good ages to help out and benefit from having a pup. Lucy (Loopy) is eldest, she's ten. Charlotte (The Barlotte) is six and our youngest Dylan (The Boy) is five. We didn't tell them we were getting a puppy and they were absolutely over the moon when they met him for the first time.



Buddy is a bit of a celebrity - he's been on Radio Scotland on the Macaulay and Co show and he was a smash hit with everyone in the office and the studio - I thought I was going to have to wrestle host Susan Calman to get him home again. We've been lucky enough to meet the lovely Gill Buchanan from The Wizard Of Paws Canine Care Centre who's going to help us mould Buddy into the perfect pup in just six months. Best of luck with that one Gill...

So far we have discovered the following things:

• Buddy likes to sleep. A lot.
  
• If you're taking Buddy out in the car, you're gonna need baby wipes, Flash wipes, air freshener and hand sanitiser. Trust me on this one.
• Dunking your hands in hot soapy water and then using carpet shampoo dries your skin out big time. And applying hand creams can nip like hell if you've got a puppy--inflicted scratch.
  
• It's amazing how often you can say the word 'no' in a stern voice - with no results.
• Having a puppy in indeed like like having a baby, except you don't need to stop drinking for nine months, you don't need stitches, get stretchmarks or have get your boobs out in public. so not really like having a baby at all I suppose...

So feel free to follow our journey to puppy perfection. It's sure to be exhaustive, testing, stressful but also jam-packed full of fun. we hope.